


Self-Serving Addiction

by orphan_account



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Coercion, Dubious Consent, M/M, dubcon, hints of underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He can’t say it. The words stick in his throat like glue. Ansem doesn’t look pleased at the hesitation, but nor does he seem angry. Instead he’s blank, his fingers curling just a little snugger than before.
Relationships: Ansem Seeker of Darkness | Xehanort's Heartless/Riku, risem
Kudos: 48





	Self-Serving Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to Puppy

Big hands cup his face. They’re warm, calloused fingers. Familiar, comforting, terrifying, disgusting, all rolled into one confusing mesh of feelings.

Riku should be used to it by now. He can’t remember how long it’s been, how many years, all of it blurring together now. He takes solace in what he is accustomed to, even if he shouldn’t. There aren’t many constants in his perpetually shifting life, but Ansem has been there for so long now that he surely counts as one.

How did it get this way?

He shudders. The hands travel down settling on his neck. Ansem’s digits tickle the soft skin there, fingers curling and uncurling as the man hums.

“What’s this?”

The voice is deep and dark, like crushed velvet against his ears. Riku twitches both at it and the memory that comes back at the question. Right, he and Sora had been…

He tries to pull away. Ansem doesn’t let him. The man’s grip tightens and suddenly Riku is stuck, sucking in a deep breath as if in preparation for the inevitable. When it doesn’t come he’s pleasantly surprised, not that it’s all that shocking. There have only been a few times when Ansem would reprimand him in such a way, back when he was still a brat. Nowadays Riku is much softer, more pliable, because he’s long since learned to bend to Ansem’s will or suffer the consequences.

His green gaze flickers up, settling on disappointed looking orange eyes. “I..”

He can’t say it. The words stick in his throat like glue. Ansem doesn’t look pleased at the hesitation, but nor does he seem angry. Instead he’s blank, his fingers curling just a little snugger than before.

Tighter, tighter, Riku thinks, until he can feel himself struggling for air.

It never comes.

Instead Ansem leans in, his mouth so close to Riku’s ear that burning breath causes him to shudder and melt. “Him again?’

Teeth gritting, Riku begrudgingly answers. “Yes.”

Now that it’s all in the open, he wonders how it would go. Normally he could tell based on the man’s features, but those are hidden by proximity. The only hint he gets is Ansem dipping down, his mouth grazing Riku’s lobe, his haw, those lips spreading apart once he settles just above where those big hands remain. Teeth caress the skin there, barely sinking in, more like a warning of what could be.

Maybe it just is. Maybe Ansem doesn’t care, although his face had betrayed that sentiment mere moments ago. Or, maybe, it just isn’t worth ruining their picture perfect moment of rare alone time over.

The man’s mouth lingers downward, one hand falling to give him more room. Ansem breathes as he runs up and down the length of Riku’s neck, finally settling on one spot. “What would he think…” His words trail off. A moist tongue darts out, running across skin, making Riku quake where he stands. It’s gone in a second, leaving a quickly cooling wet spot. “…Would he be disappointed, if a new one were to suddenly show up, Riku?

“Ansem.” It’s supposed to sound like a warning. Instead Riku can barely squeak the name out. At his side, his own hands clench, wanting nothing more than to push away. He doesn’t. The consequences of such an act have long since been ingrained in him, leaving Riku incapable of doing as he wants.

A huffing laugh spreads heat throughout Riku’s body. If his grip could get any tighter, it would, but his fingers are already digging crescent-shaped marks into the skin of his palm. He almost wishes he would bleed, but Riku has never had such luck; if he did then he wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

Ansem nuzzles into the boy’s neck, planting delicate kisses along tender flesh. When he does latch on it’s sudden. Riku gasps with surprise, he tries to push back, but his attempt is pathetic. Useless, really, almost as if he doesn’t want to push Ansem away in the first place. That’s probably it, too. He deserves this, he’s dirty, tainted, unworthy of anyone but Ansem’s touch. 

So what if the man marks him? Wouldn’t Sora finding out be what he deserves after all this time of lying?

As if just to spite him, Ansem bridges the distance between their bodies. His form presses Riku against the wall behind him, flush against one another, and the suddenness of it all is enough to make his head spin.

Although Riku is taller and wider than he once was, Ansem is still so much bigger than him. The way he towers over Riku is impossible to deny from this proximity. For the first time in a while, Riku feels small and helpless. It’s not something he likes experiencing, the powerlessness of it reminds him of the times he had been so easy to sway to darkness.

What if he still is? 

Riku gasps at the sensation of teeth digging into already bruising flesh. It hurts, albeit not physically. If anything, it doesn’t truly cause him pain, rather it feels _good_ in a way that makes his emotions even more difficult to parse.

“Ansem.” He tries again, this time with a little more heart than before. Riku’s fist pushes at the man’s chest, another pathetic attempt that falls short the very moment that Ansem reaches down with both hands to grab his wrists. Once more he struggles against the grip, pulling away only to be tugged back with undeniable strength.

The mouth in his neck unlatches but stays close. “Don’t move.”

It’s an order, one that deep down Riku feels is irrefutable. Still, he isn’t a kid anymore, nor does he want to be the Ansem’s pet despite the fact that he continues to come meet with the man for some unknown reason.

Riku’s face twists as he tugs away again, this time with more fervor than before. He escapes the man’s hold, stumbling backward until his back hits a hard, concrete wall. “I don’t want this anymore, Ansem.”

Another hum. This time it’s longer, like a drawn out thought, as Ansem’s orange gaze assesses him. There’s the slightest twist of a smile there, like a faint hint at what is to come now that Riku has had the audacity to speak his mind.

Ansem clicks his tongue. “Then why did you come?”

“I…”

Why did he? Riku can’t think of an answer past familiarity. He knows this, knows Ansem, knows his touch, the way he tastes, how he likes to be in control. If there’s anything Riku is a sucker for, it’s having constants in his life no matter how painful or dangerous they are, that’s why the darkness had been so comfortable for him for so long – it had been there for him no matter what.

But that’s not him anymore. He’s one of the seven lights, a keyblade master, Sora is his boyfriend now; there are so many other things that Riku can cling to. Why does he keep coming back to Ansem anyway?

“I don’t know.”

It’s all he can give. Riku truly has no idea why he continues to put himself in harms way when he doesn’t need to.

“I know why,” Ansem practically coos. Riku hates that his voice is like music to his ears. “You aren’t getting enough from that boy, are you?”

The words are knives to his chest. Riku’s silver brows furrow, face flushes, and he looks down, fingers clenching into tight fists. “That’s none of your business, Ansem.”

He laughs. The sound of it is as if he’s already won. Riku thinks he likely has, that his irritated response has given away more than he’s meant to. Ansem has always been able to read him like a well-loved book. “What’s that? Am I right?”

“You know…”

Of course he does. It’s Ansem talking, the man is clearly pretending to act surprised at the unintentional admission. 

“Oh, I figured. Although, I’m curious,” This time the words aren’t pretty, probably because Riku is certain of what is to come next; a question that Ansem already knows the answer to. “Is it him, or is it _you_ that’s holding back?”

This time Riku refuses to answer. Instead he just glares at the ground near his feet, waiting for the inevitable. When the laugh comes, it’s both beautiful and haunting. Riku hears it in his dreams so often, he’s certain he’s got every bit of that Ansem’s lilt memorized. The laugh continues to linger even once it’s gone.

“That answers that,” Ansem sounds proud of himself. It’s not unusual. “I guess you don’t have it in you to take someone’s innocence. A shame, really, anyone would be _so_ lucky to have you.”

Ansem steps forward, bridging the distance Riku had put between them. His hands go back to cupping his face and trailing down. They linger at his strong shoulders, digits massaging the tense muscle there. When Ansem leans in to press soft lips to his own, Riku isn’t prepared. He freezes, fists uncurling, his eyes fluttering closed as he gives in to instinct.

The experience is the same as it’s always been. It’s good when it shouldn’t be, forcing Riku to struggle with his own uncontrollable reactions. He feels wanted, loved, and sick to his stomach, filthy in a way only Ansem can elicit. 

After a few seconds that feel like minutes, Riku forces his head to the side to break the kiss. “Don’t.”

It’s a demand Riku does not often have the courage to give. No matter that he came here of his own volition, Riku doesn’t want Ansem to touch him like this. Not anymore. If he gives it up, this intimacy that is so easy in it’s familiarity, then he’ll be worthy of Sora eventually. Someday.

“I don’t want this anymore, Ansem. Whatever _this_ is. It’s done.” Riku tries to sound strong but the words quiver.

He isn’t looking but Riku swears he can feel the change in energy coming from Ansem. His previously uncaring, lackadaisical attitude becomes something different, something…much scarier. So very akin to how he’d been when they first crossed paths all those years ago. Riku doesn’t have to see to sense it, he _knows_ Ansem better than anyone.

“Okay.”

The words take him by surprise. Riku’s face snaps back up, his green eyes narrow as they stare at Ansem’s visage. There’s a smile there but, underneath it, darkness is brewing.

“What?” Riku can’t help his surprise. There has to be some kind of caveat to Ansem agreeing.

“Okay. We can stop meeting like this. I’m not here to force you to do anything, Riku, however…”

Here it comes, the stipulation.

Ansem shrugs. “I can’t promise I won’t seek a certain someone out, just to see what all the fuss is about. Maybe someone a little less…obliging will be a good change of pace.

What he is suggesting takes not even a second to dawn on Riku. All the muscles in his shoulders tighten, teeth grinding together, his face contorting in frustration and fear. He brings one clenched fist up to pound on Ansem’s partially covered chest. “You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?” The man quips back.

The haughtiness of the response pisses Riku off. Without a proper outlet, he’s left standing there, seething with anger and glaring up at the man’s unwavering orange gaze. “Why, after all this time, Ansem?”

A hand comes up to Riku’s cheek and back, brushing silky hair from his face behind his ear. There’s softness to it, something Riku is used to when he’s behaving. Only, this time he’s _not_. So why the sudden tenderness?

“You’ve always been such a good boy, Riku. Always willing to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love, never taking more than you can give. I’ll need something to fill the hole you’ll leave in my heart.”

Riku snorts at the words. A hole in a heartless’s heart, right. It’s a ploy to get him to stay; one that shouldn’t work, really, all except for the fact that he’s using _Sora_ against him. If there’s one thing Riku can’t stand more than himself, it’s the thought of Sora having to go through any more pain than he already has. He’s the one who has given everything for others, not Riku. All Riku has done is follow in his footsteps, only taking that important step ahead when it was needed to protect Sora.

So, no matter what, Ansem cannot have Sora.

Riku loathes to admit to himself what this means. He wants to refuse it, there’s no way Ansem would do such a thing out of mere spite, but deep down he knows that’s not necessarily true. 

“You’re bluffing,” he says, fist once again slapping against Ansem’s torso.

“Since when have I ever been the type to go back on my word?” Ansem smiles as he speaks. The sight makes Riku’s stomach churn with both excitement and hatred. All those years of being controlled by Ansem have ruined him, made it impossible for Riku to deny that there is something so very intriguing about the man.

He’s right. If there is one thing that Ansem has made abundantly clear over the years, it’s that he is the type to do just as he says. Unfortunately, in this situation, that means he probably really will go after Sora.

Riku deflates then and there. He leans back against the wall, face down and lips pursed. “You really mean it?”

In front of him, Ansem’s quietly laughs. “It’s up to you whether you’ll find that out.”

“Fine.” The word is so quiet that even Riku himself can barely hear it.

“What was that?”

A finger goes to Riku’s chin, tilting his head up. He glares at Ansem with his lips pursed. “You have to leave Sora alone.”

Ansem has a big, smarmy grin on his face as he forces Riku to look at him. “And, if I do?”

Riku’s heart shatters in his chest. Coming out and saying it means giving in again, like he has so many times before. He’ll be steeped in filth forever like this, unable to escape the man’ wiles, stuck giving in over and over again until he has nothing left to offer. Not for Ansem, Sora, or anyone.

But it’s better him than anyone else. At least Riku has the strength to protect those he cares about from monsters like Ansem.

“Whatever you want,” Riku mumbles, eyes flickering down. Against Ansem’s chest his fingers clench so much that they begin to shake. “As long as you leave him out of this, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

Riku hates that he has to repeat this. “Yes, anything.”

The hand on his chin slips upward, Ansem’s index finger and thumb pinching Riku’s jaw. The pressure awkwardly forces his mouth wide. “Good boy, now open wide.”

Not like Riku has any choice in the matter, especially when Ansem’s grip tightens to ensure he doesn’t. It’s painful, and weird, but it’s not like Riku can do anything about it. If this is what Ansem wants then so be it; he’s done worse things to ensure the safety of his friends.

Soon enough the distance between them disappears. Like so many times before, Ansem’s tongue explores his mouth. Riku offers one last, pathetic pound on the man’s chest before his fist falls to his side and his body goes slack against the wall.

One upon a time, RIku was proud of the attention being given to him. He thought it made him special, to have attracted the attention of someone so powerful. Now he knows it’s always been because he’s an easy target, someone who would do even the most sickening of acts at the mere snap of a finger. Disgust fills Riku to the brim, spilling out of him as tears. 

This is the choice he’s made and he can’t go back now.


End file.
